Batterers frantically searching for a rational excuse for their behavior frequently find these statements helpful. Unfortunately, there is no truth to them and it is society that happily accepts these myths as reality. In opposition to these statements, I have collected accurate reasons as to why boys abuse. Here are some examples of their motivation for abusive behavior:

1. Abuse makes insecure boys feel they have control over others' lives and their own lives as well. It also satisfies the need for displaying power and control over his environment and over the people he cares about.
2. Abuse works as an immediate, final resolution to the disagreement at hand. The boy utilizes abuse so he doesn't have to face the real issue, which is probably too touchy and personal of a subject for him to handle.
3. Violence shows his girlfriend who has the power and control in the relationship. Abusive people crave power, and this power allows him to get his way all the time, without having to argue about anything.
4. Abuse shows society that the boyfriend is complying with its bias towards men. He is acting in charge, independent, aggressive, tough, and strong. (And never allows his girlfriend to win an argument.)
5. Since many boyfriends become emotionally dependent on their girlfriends, they need to have a way to keep that security blanket around them forever. Abuse insures that a girlfriend is either too scared or too ashamed to leave the relationship, and this makes her boyfriend content.
6. Other factors that influence a boy's decision to become violent are: pressure, aggressive sports, the media, a history of family violence, other domestic problems, and frustration with life. (Although these are not direct reasons for abuse.)