WHY Girlfriends Stay

     Because boys have so many reasons to abuse girls, it seems logical to think that girls possess many motives to stay in an abusive relationship. This is correct. Girls who have been violently attacked-whether emotionally, physically or sexually-are very confused about what's been happening to them. They experience so many emotions at once-anger, hatred, sadness, mourning, depression, anxiety, fear-that it is unreasonable for outsiders to judge her situation. It is unfair to tell an abused girl to "Just leave the relationship!" Her situation is far more complicated than anyone might initially believe, and in order to help an abused girl, one must first learn why she wants to stay in her relationship:

1. Abused girls feel humiliated and ashamed about what they've been going through. Being battered by someone who supposedly loves you can quite easily make you feel at fault, even though it has nothing to do with you. It can also shock you so deeply that you can go into denial about what's going on. (e.g. "Staying is right because nothing is wrong with our relationship.")
2. An abusive boy might tell his girlfriend, "I can change if only you'll help me." She would probably believe this, and thinking she can change his attitude, unknowingly commits to an abusive relationship.
3. Abused girls might believe they are causing their boyfriends' destructive behavior. If her boyfriend is normally incredibly kind and sweet to everyone but her, of course she'll think something is wrong with her! She eventually comes to believe that if only she'd obey his instructions more, then he wouldn't get so violent all the time.

The ABUSE Factor in Dating (Main Page Dating Violence)
Warning Signs
The Never-ending CYCLE of Violence
WHY Boyfriends Abuse
WHY Girlfriends Stay
If YOU are involved in an UNHEALTHY Relationship...
Help a FRIEND in an Unhealthy Relationship!
Get your FACTS STRAIGHT, please! and Bibliography