By Girls, For Girls - A Project by and for Teen Girls

If YOU are involved in an UNHEALTHY Relationship...

If you're reading this section, you may have doubts about the stability and health of your relationship, and after reviewing the previous information, you may have realized that some of the signs of abuse sound a bit familiar. But if you're not certain that you're being abused, please read over the examples of emotional, physical and sexual abuse again. If even one of these applies to your relationship, then you are being abused. And no matter what the myths say, partners in abusive relationships do not enjoy it. They abhor it, and subconsciously are looking for a way out. The following information will, hopefully, help you or a friend to get out of an abusive relationship.

The first step to recovery is realizing that you're being abused. Being out of the state of denial that many abused people are in is a vital aspect to recovery, and is the best thing you can do for yourself right now.

Once you've realized that you're being abused, remember these two crucial facts:

It is in no way your fault that your partner became abusive. No matter what you could've said or done to provoke him, nothing deserves serious physical, emotional or sexual revenge. You are not to blame for his lack of control; you are the victim here.

There is no way you can change your partner's abusive behavior on your own. Period. Please do not sacrifice the health and safety of your body and mind thinking that your situation will change if you stay long enough. Most likely, your situation will get worse over time and become much more violent and dangerous. You could end up with long-term health problems. And as much as I hate to remind people of this, partners have been killed through dating violence. It CAN happen to you!

To escape the relationship, first remember that your situation is gravely serious and should be issued the utmost concern by everyone around you. Remember that the only way to cope with the situation is to meet it head-on, and without any reservations. Look to trusted adults for help and advice. Above all, tell your parents or guardians about your situation, because they are the ones who love you the most and will help you best through this difficult time.

Outside of loyal friends and family, the next places that can help you are adolescent clinics and family counseling centers throughout the U.S. There are also teen hotlines or rape crisis and/or domestic violence hotlines that you can call, depending on where you live, that can be very helpful in times of emergency (and also when you just need to talk to someone about your situation). An additional source of help is peer-counseling programs at school and in communities. Although many schools don't have these programs, perhaps one is in another nearby neighborhood or town. There are also counselors in schools, neighborhoods, health clinics, and in agencies that can assist you.
Don't give up if you can't find help on your first try! There are hundreds of people out there who have committed their lives to helping young people, and they would surely love to help you.

The ABUSE Factor in Dating (Main Page Dating Violence)
Warning Signs
The Never-ending CYCLE of Violence
WHY Boyfriends Abuse
WHY Girlfriends Stay
If YOU are involved in an UNHEALTHY Relationship...
Help a FRIEND in an Unhealthy Relationship!
Get your FACTS STRAIGHT, please! and Bibliography