Help a FRIEND in an Unhealthy Relationship!

     If you've come to this section, you may be experiencing feelings of concern about your friend's relationship. You may have witnessed scenes of violence between your friend and her partner, and this can make you angry with her for not leaving the relationship. Instead of being angry (or even confused about what's going on inside her head), lend a sought-after helping hand. It may not be accepted at first, for many abused people do not believe they are in serious trouble. But gently pursue the issue, and you will come to find that your help is more necessary than your friend could have ever imagined.

Here is some information you may find helpful in assisting your abused friend:

• Have names and phone numbers handy that she can call for professional help. Encourage her to make the call and be with her while she does so.
• Do not encourage her to work it out with her partner! They both need counseling and treatment if they are to recover from the abusive relationship, and they need this help away from each other. If she goes back to him, she will probably be hurt worse than she already is.
• · Let her talk and pour out her story without judgment from you or from anyone else. Sit there quietly, giving her silent support and encouragement. Believe what she is saying more than anything else; she needs to know that her feelings and situation are real, and not just a made up nightmare.
• Don't try to talk to her partner about the abuse unless she gives you explicit permission to do so. This can be dangerous for your friend, and simply the act of you talking to someone else about her situation can make her lose her trust in you. Consequently, she might not confide in you anymore and this could be quite hazardous for her.
• · Observing a scene of abuse between your friend and her partner can be very scary, but this isn't the time to burrow your head into the ground. Quickly tell an adult or counselor who you trust about what happened, even if your friend tells you not to. By confiding in an adult who can take action, you may be saving your friend's life. Her life is far more important than any resentment she may hold towards you for revealing the abusive episode.

     Always keep in mind that your friend's safety should be your utmost concern. Even if she pleads with you to keep her situation confidential, you should be smart enough to judge that when you see bruises on her arms, the circumstances are in need of immediate attention. You cannot solve her problems single-handedly, and by thinking this way you are placing her in great jeopardy. The best way you can help your friend is to get her to 1) Realize that she has been abused, and 2) Convince her to confide in adults who have more experience in critical matters. By doing so, you are saving her life. You really are. This is a gift not many friends have the opportunity to give, and you are quite a special one if you stand by her and do so.

The ABUSE Factor in Dating (Main Page Dating Violence)
Warning Signs
The Never-ending CYCLE of Violence
WHY Boyfriends Abuse
WHY Girlfriends Stay
If YOU are involved in an UNHEALTHY Relationship...
Help a FRIEND in an Unhealthy Relationship!
Get your FACTS STRAIGHT, please! and Bibliography