Abuse. Abuse is a powerful word. It means to harm or to cause damage.

Abused. Abused individuals have been hurt by the abuser. Abuse comes in many forms; physical, emotional, mental, and sexual. This page focuses on sexual abuse specifically in childhood and adolescence. This page also focuses on recovery . Statistics show that anywhere from 2-38% of women and girls suffered from sexual abuse at some point in their childhood and adolescence. (Figures vary based on the definition of abuse.) A classic study concludes that 1 in 4 girls are sexually abused before the age of 16. Sexual abuse also affects boys. The studies show that the numbers are significantly lower, however, and this could be due to less reported cases rather than less actual cases.

     Who is the Abuser/ Abused? It is important to recognize that both the abused and the abuser come from all different backgrounds. Uncles, sisters, fathers, step-mothers, friends, strangers, teachers, lawyers, gas station attendants, etc., can all be the victims and the perpetrators. The stereotypical roles of stranger and child are not always the reality. It is easy to see the stranger as an enemy because we do not know, love, or trust them. The majority of sexual offenders do not fit the "big bad wolf" stereotype that society places on them. You cannot tell by looking at someone, or even sometimes by getting to know them, if they are a sexual abuser or if they have been sexually abused.

     When a known adult or child breeches your trust it is important to know that they are still wrong even though you may love and respect them. It is also important to know that it is not your fault. You need to get help no matter who has abused you. This is the aspect of sexual abuse that is usually confusing or avoided. It can be frightening to think of telling on someone whom you care for. When you know someone and love or respect them, they have done more than just violate your body physically. They have violated your trust and broken the relationship. This can be very confusing because of how you have always thought of the person. How could they do this to you? Am I being punished? Can I help them? They have done wrong just as much, if not more so than a stranger. You are not being punished for something you did or said, or for being who you are.

      Sexual Abuse is not your fault. It is not your job to help an abuser or to feel sorry or responsible for them. It is your job to get help for yourself. Sexual abuse may happen to a person only once, or it may happen several times. This can scar a person in different ways. This site is to assist you in finding help and also to begin recovery after the abuse.

     The Effects of Sexual Abuse. Everyone feels differently about being abused. Some people have even said that they enjoyed the experience, or thought it felt good. This does not mean that it was not abuse. It is important that you know that if you enjoy the experience you are not responsible. It is natural for sexual touch, even unwanted sexual touch, to feel good, especially as a teen who is just becoming a sexual being. For the majority of victims, however, it is not a pleasant experience, and the damages often remain for a long time. Some of the feelings that you may experience as a result of sexual abuse are loneliness, helplessness, guilt, low self-esteem, panic, and anxiety. All of these feelings are real and okay to have. It is important not to push these feelings aside. Recognize them and try to overcome them. Recognizing your emotions can be done in many ways- this can include just feeling them, or maybe going to counseling to uncover feelings you did not know you had. This process of recovering is also different for each individual.

How to Get HELP
Poem - Bless Me
What Can I Do as a Friend?
Links and Bibliography