A Look into Abusive Relationships
When people think about abusive relationships it most often triggers thoughts of hitting, striking, kicking or other forms of physical violence. This kind of abuse is known as physical abuse. Physical abuse is only one of two major forms of abuse. The second form of abuse is known as verbal abuse.
Researchers have found that upwards of 1 in 3 girls will be abused in her lifetime (plannedparenthood.org). To bring this statistic a little more to home, think of yourself, and your two very best girl friends together--now realize that one of you will be abused. Abuse can happen in any relationship, an intimate heterosexual relationship, an intimate homosexual relationship, parents to children, children to parents, and acquaintance or "date" abuse.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is the most easily recognizable form of abuse. Physical abuse leaves scars, bruises, marks, and in sever cases broken bones and corpses. Physical abuse is defined by dictionary.com as "physical mistreatment, spousal abuse" (www.dictionary.com).
When a person is involved in a physically abusive relationship it is often easier for them to obtain help because the signs are more obvious to people outside of the relationship. This does not make breaking away from the relationship easier. Breaking away and escaping from a physically abusive relationship can some times heighten the frequency and intensity of abuse that the victim is receiving (Kato).
Verbal Abuse
In an verbally abusive (some times known as a emotionally abusive) relationship the wounds are just as harsh, but do not leave any outward signs as physical abuse does. In a verbally abusive relationship one of the partners is dominate and uses names, foul language, harsh comments, and fear to obtain what they want from their partner. The victim is then put in a position where s/he doesn't believe that they measure up to their partner's standards.
In a Life Esteem website (www.liveesteem.org) the following guidelines and examples are given for recognizing verbal abuse in your relationship:
"Blaming: The verbal abuser will accuse the partner of inciting trouble.
"Denial: The abuser claims that the reality of the partner is invalid.
"Joking and Verbal Abuse: The abuser claims that he or she was only joking and then blames the partner for not being able to take a joke.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is defined at teenwire.com (a sub-site of plannedparenthood.com) as "sexual activity that is harmful or not consensual"(teenwire.com). This leaves a broad room for interpretation of "sexual activities." Sexual activities can range from intercourse (sex), to touching, to outer-course (sex with out penetration), to kissing. This broad range often makes pinning sexual abuse difficult. Teenwrite.com states that "sexual abuse is any sexual activity that is unwanted by one of the partners" (teenwire.com).
Sexual abuse can take a long time to heal. It affects people most often more emotionally than it does physically, although physical trauma can be a major side effect of sexual abuse including things like unplanned pregnancy, or STI's (STD's).
Resources
The following is a list of phone numbers and addresses of organizations that can be contacted for more information on abuse, and contacted for help.
Planned Parenthood Federation of America
The Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN)
Hotline for Domestic Violence 1-800-838-8238
Youth in Crisis Hotline 1-800-442-4673
Works Cited List
All information for this article were taken from searches on the:
Planned Parenthood Website
Teen Wire Website
Life Esteem Website
And a lecture given by Yoko Kato on July 15, 2002.
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