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"I like myself, I'm worth a lot!' After seven years from first saying this, I am just now starting to understand what this phrase really means. In the fourth grade we used to sing this song, and the only part I can remember was a part in the chorus: the phrase, "I like myself, I'm worth a lot!" I am now realizing what it means to honestly feel good about yourself, which is something our society has made difficult for young women. Feeling good about yourself involves liking and loving yourself even when you don't fit the so-called mold. To love yourself you need to know yourself. Loving yourself is to know and accept your flaws, instead of constantly trying to change them. In a culture where looks are over emphasized and sex sells, feeling good about one's individuality and uniqueness is easier said than done. One important way to tackle those barriers is to educate yourself. It's vital for us as young ladies to understand our bodies changes, not be fooled by the negative media influence, and to establish high self-esteem. What's Happening with your Body? Puberty is an exciting, yet sometimes challenging stage of life for young girls. It starts between the ages of 9 and 13 in girls, and lasts for about 2 to 3 years. Studies show that girls feel very confident in themselves and their abilities up to around the age of nine, about the same time that puberty starts. Therefore, this phase of life can be challenging to the development of a girl's self image and self-esteem. Signs of Puberty One first sign of puberty is usually the growing of breasts. When breasts first begin to grow they may be tender to the touch and hurt sometimes, but as they get rounder and fuller this goes away. For some girls the growing of breasts may boost their self esteem, and for others it may make them feel embarrassed or ashamed. The other first sign of puberty is the growth of long coarse pubic hair and underarm hair. Another sign is a small amount of clear sticky vaginal discharge, which is usually closely followed by a girl's first period. About 90% of teenagers deal with acne. Acne is caused by an increase of oil in the skin. During puberty hormones and oil glands become more active. The best way to treat acne is to wash your skin with soap and warm water at least once a day. Try to avoid putting your hands on your face. Over the counter acne medications may be helpful, but for severe acne talk to a health care provider about prescribed acne medications. A girl going through puberty may also notice that she may be more emotional or moody than normal. This is due to an increase in hormones, which can also be related to a woman's period. It is crucial to remember that these and other body changes are completely normal and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. After all, it is something that all females go through. Although, all women experience puberty, not everyone goes through it at the same time. Some young women are slower developing than others, which is completely natural. Our bodies all develop and mature at different times. This is ok! Females don't stop growing until the age of around 20. During puberty females gain more body fat that is needed for her period, which may cause many girls to become extremely self conscious about their appearance. During puberty a girl will develop a healthy curvy shape as her hips will widen and as her waist looks smaller. Body Types A factor that helps make a woman unique is her body type. The four main body types are android, thyroid, gynaeoid and lymphatic. Women with an android body type have broad shoulders, a large rib cage, strong muscular limbs, a narrow pelvis and hips, and an apple body shape. Women with a thyroid body shape have a high metabolism, they can eat a lot and not worry about weight gain. They have long limbs with fine, narrow bones. Women with a gynaeoid body type have a curved body with well sized breast, large buttocks, and curved hips and thighs, but with a small tapered waist. Women with a lymphatic body type have a very slow metabolic rate, and weight gain occurs over the entire body very easily. Influence of media on self-esteem Everyday the media bombards us with images of what an ideal woman should look like, what a woman's role should be, and what behavior is acceptable and unacceptable. In advertisements women are still treated as sex objects. Television shows, movies, magazines, and billboards are filled with what society considers "beautiful people." It can be very difficult to not be swayed by this rigid and uniform standard of beauty. There are so many beauty products on the market trying to make people cover up or fix who they are. It seems like every time I turn on the tv there's an informercial selling some sort of bag of magic beans that is suppose to instantly transform you. The media sends out the message that in order to be valuable you have to look a certain way or have a certain status, which is not true. The media sends out this ideal "look," and then plays on our insecurities when we don't measure up to it. I know it sounds cliché, but it is what's inside that really counts. The attractive person with the nice clothes may be the one who's ugly inside.
The first step to gaining high self-esteem is self-acceptance. Accept the flaws you cannot naturally change. Now, I'm not saying don't wear a weave because it's not natural! Instead, be comfortable with your height, your personality, your beliefs and values, your body shape and how you look. There's a difference between using little things to enhance your appearance (contacts, fake nails, make-up) and going to the extreme (cosmetic and plastic surgery). Once you accept yourself, other's opinions about how you should be won't matter as much. The next step is to be nonconforming about who you are. Don't let other people's ideals deter you from being who you are and doing what you believe in. Being self-assured and adamant in your beliefs is great, but at the same time it is important to respect the opinions of other people even if you don't agree with them. To build self-esteem I find it helpful to surround myself with positive people. It makes it easier for me to be myself. Other good ways to build self-esteem are participating in sports, working a part-time job (if you can handle it), volunteering for organizations or joining a club at school. Being apart of a team is a fantastic way to interact with people, develop friendships, and build confidence. Everyone doesn't feel good all of the time. We all feel down every once in a while. It's important to know that it's OK to share your feelings. Talk to someone you trust to get your feelings off your chest. If you don't trust telling anyone, write it down. Letting it all out will make you feel less stressed. Just remember that you can't be the best at everything, and in some point in time we all fail. Instead of letting that failure overwhelm you, learn and gain strength from it. Look at life as one big learning opportunity. If for some reason or another you still can't manage to feel good about yourself, you may want to consider seeking some professional help. You may be suffering from depression, which is treatable. More Resources
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